TGIF

I'm feeling pretty good today! Trying not to focus on all the negativity around me and just focus on the positive. I started off this morning hurrying around and stressing over so many things to do. Then I just stopped in my tracks, took a deep breath, and said a quick prayer. And I immediately felt better and my mood seemed to almost instantly change. The weather was absolutely beautiful here today in The Peach State. So instead of working inside the house, I worked outside most of the day and soaked up some good old vitamin D. Then I went to work for my friend Zach as his nurses assistant. As I worked him out doing stretching excersizes, I worked on my own arms and legs. He was looking at me like I was crazy. (He can't speak right now) So I explained to him that I was trying to get in some excersize too and he gave me a good solid blink. (Which means okay or yes) So we both got a pretty good workout on our arms and legs. I made a quick lunch afterward of salad greens with Feta and a greek vinagrette. And I had a couple of apple slices. Not exactly the lunch I would like to have ate. But still filling and good. Now I'm awaiting the hubby to get home so we can go out for dinner. TGIF!!!!!!

“This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go”
(Joshua 1:9, NLT)

This scripture brought me comfort today so I just wanted to share. :)

Stress Eating

Sorry I haven't posted in almost a week. It's been a crazy past few days. We're in the process of getting ready to move next month. So I've been working really hard on getting all of our clothes cleaned out. I told myself that I'm only gonna keep the clothes that I can fit into right now. That way it will be more of an incentive to push myself to lose more weight. Then I will be able to go on a shopping spree to get some new ones! YAY! But as I was cleaning and sorting thru things, I found a few pairs of Capris that I wore last summer. I put one of them on and they barely buttoned! I didn't think I had put on that much weight since last year. But obviously it snuck up on me at some point or another. I was totally disgusted with myself. Then that got me thinking. I've put on "a little extra weight" every year since I was in my teens. I've never stayed at the same weight. It just keeps going higher and higher each year. So I have got to take serious control of myself THIS YEAR or else I'm gonna weigh 500 pounds one day. And Lord knows I don't want to do that. When I analyze myself and my daily eating habits, I don't think I eat too bad. I eat a good breakfast every morning to start off my day. Then I usually have a mid morning snack to tide me over til lunch. Then I'll have lunch and dinner. And my meals are usually pretty well balanced. And the only time I over eat is when I'm stressed out. Then I tend to eat a little too much if something is bothering me. Like I may just eat a really large portion of something when half of it actually filled me up. I guess that's what stress eating is. And I've noticed lately that as I'm conciously trying to eat healthier, that I seem to feel hungry all the time. And I don't understand why. I drink tons and tons of water trying to "trick" myself into thinking I'm not hungry. So what's up with that? It's got to be all in my mind. Maybe I'm just going crazy after all.....

Friendly Therapy

With so much going on right now I needed a little therapy session with my friend. (AKA~ "Venting til I feel better). So we met up for dinner last night and I blabbed away. Why is it that we feel so much better after a good vent? I hate holding anything inside and feel like I will just burst if I can't get something off my chest. Thank God for good girlfriends! What would we do without them? She is my "go to girl" for everything. And I do mean everything! We shared a plate of Cheese Fries (Yeah, Yeah, I know. NOT a healthy diet choice). But you have to let yourself splurge once in awhile or else you'll go crazy. Or at least that's how I feel. Then we went to the mall afterwards and stopped by the Cookie Company. Anything Chocolate always makes me feel better! So I had a cookie too. But to make up for it I rode my bike this morning for an hour. And I took the mostly uphill route which killed my poor calves. But it felt good too. The burn let's you know that what you did worked. Burn baby burn! LOL. And I ate really good today to help make up for it too. I had Oatmeal and 2 Apple slices for breakfast, a cup of Yogurt for a snack, Some salad greens with feta tossed in a lite vinegrette for lunch and for dinner I'm having a Turkey Sub from Subway. I think that's a pretty good day for me. And tonight after dinner I'm taking Dax (my dog) on a walk around the neighborhood. Then maybe if I'm really feeling good, I'll pop in my Jillian Michaels DVD and do one of her work outs. We'll see..... :P

                                                                 

In The Midst Of The Storm

We all have things going on in our lives each and everyday that may stress us out. But I'm choosing not to stress anymore! I realize that some things are just bigger than I can handle on my own. And I need to learn to refocus myself and turn to prayer more rather than stressing day in and day out. I know that when I fully trust in God, everything will be okay. But yet I still try to "Fix" everything on my own without giving it to him to first. I'm gonna give it all to him and let him do his work. :)

I wanted to share this with you all because this is what really got me thinking and put things in perspective for me.



TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
“...He sends rain on the just and the unjust alike”
(Matthew 5:45, NLT)


TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
We all have opportunities to get upset and live stressed out. The storms of life
come to every person. No matter how good a person you are, you’re going to have some “rain” in your life. When these storms come, a lot people use their faith to try to control their circumstances. But I’ve found it’s better to use my
faith to control myself in the midst of my circumstances. I know that if I can
just remain stable in the storms of life and stay in peace, that’s what allows
God to act on my behalf. God never said that we wouldn’t have difficulties, but He did promise we could have peace in the midst of the storms. When you face adversities, one of the most powerful things you can do is simply stay calm. When you are at peace, you are displaying your faith in God. By your actions you’re saying, “God, I know You’re still on the throne. I know You’re bigger than this problem.” So keep peace in the midst of your storms today. Trust that He is working behind the scenes. Keep your heart open to Him because soon He will deliver you!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father God, thank You for peace in the midst of the storms of life. I choose to
hold my peace knowing that You are working behind the scenes. I trust You, I
trust Your timing, and I trust that You are working everything together for my
good because You love me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
- Joel & Victoria Osteen

Good Old Kick In The A**

I've been sick the past couple of days and I have done nothing. I mean absolutely nothing (that's considered excersize). I have watched more T.V in these past few days than I probably have in the past year. Oh, and I can probably tell you about every Lifetime movie ever made. Because I watched them all. LOL! I cleaned out our closets and drawers, (Ok maybe that can count for a little excersize) I caught up my journal, I read a bizillion blogs, I tried some new recipes, and that's about it. I would say I slept alot like most sick people do. But I have had a very hard time sleeping lately. So here it is 3:29 am when I should be asleep, but I'm not. So I decided to work a little and catch up on here about my very boring weekend. I did actually leave the house today though which was great. My dog (Dax) turned 5 years old today. Or I guess 35 in dog years? Anyways, me and my hubby have this sort of tradition where every year on his birthday we go out and have a steak for dinner. Then we bring home the birthday boy our leftovers. So we headed out to Longhorn Steak House tonight to partake in some feasting. And OMG was it good! Now I'm gonna need a good old kick in the a** to get my butt back in gear tomorrow. After being so lazy for a few days, I have alot of working out to catch up on. I think I will start with a bike ride in the morning. It's supposed to be pretty here tomorrow so it shouldn't be too cold. But we'll see....

P.S~ Here's a picture of the birthday brat.

My thoughts and prayers go out tonight for all the Tsunami victims in Japan.
I've been watching videos on CNN.com all day because I've been bed ridden with some type of Flu bug and I'm in total shock. This is absolutely horrible...

:(

YUMMY Turkey Chili

One of my wonderful blogger friends sent me this recipe so I tried it out last night. (She got it from The 17 Day Diet). It is super easy, which is great for someone like me who isn't Rachel Ray in the kitchen. And it's absolutely delicious and very filling. Since I loved it so much, I thought I would share it with everyone else.

2 lbs lean ground turkey
1 onion
1 14-15 oz. cans black beans
1 14-15 oz. cans kidney beans
salt, pepper, chili powder to taste

Cook the meat and onion together so that the onions are really well-done.
Then add the beans and seasoning. You then let this all simmer for 20 minutes.. Then Voila!

(Or if your like me and KC you can't wait the 20 minutes to dig into a bowl. So just make sure the beans are warmed through then you can go ahead and eat.)

~All About Me~

I keep seeing all these little survey things and thought I would do one to let you all know a little more about me.

Age: 36
Bed size: Queen
Chore you hate: Laundry and Grocery Shopping!!!!
Dogs or Cats: Dog~ A feisty male Chihuahua named Dax.
Fave color: Turquoise Blue
Gold or silver:  Silver
Instruments I play: A mean Air Guitar....LOL
Job Title: I have alot of them
Kids: None. Can't have babies. :(
Live: Georgia
Nicknames: Jewels ~or~ Ju Ju Beans
Pet peeve: Cocky Men, Dirty Sinks, People who smack their Gum, White People with Dread Locks, And many, many more... :O
Quote from a movie: "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."
Right or left handed: Right
Siblings: 3 Sisters
Time you wake up: I try to get up by 7am, but it varies alot depending on how late I stayed up the night before.
Underwear: What about them? I do wear them!
Veggie you dislike: Brussel Sprouts and Asparagus
What makes you run late: I'm usually early for everything
Yummy food you make:  Pigs in a Blanket
Favorite Movie from Childhood:  Goonies!!!!
Favorite Movie as an Adult: The Notebook
Favorite Book:  Twilight (Seriously)...
Favorite Food:  Pizza and Steak
Hobbies: Photography, Traveling. Reading, Blogging, Swimming
Favorite Vacation Spot: Navarre Beach Florida, or The Bahamas
Something You Collect: Anything Hello Kitty
Any Tattoos: Blue Daisy on my Left Foot, and A Small Hello Kitty on Shoulder Blade.
Something you Love: Shopping and Taking Pictures
Someone you Love: My Hubby <3
Favorite Car: Range Rover!!!! (But I drive a Toyota Corolla) UGH.
Favorite Sport: College Football, Roller Derby
Beer or Wine: Wine, but only once in blue moon.
Bags or Shoes: OMG BOTH!!!! No way to choose between the two.

Hope I didn't bore you!  Tee Hee.....

Fabulous Deals and Freebies....

Hey guys~ Please make sure you check out my page for Fabulous Deals and Freebies! There are some really cool things are there right now.....

:)

Learning to Cook

I've been with my hubby since we were both 15 years old. We got married when I was 25 and worked for as a Marketing assistant. My husband owned his own Roofing Company and we both worked long and crazy hours. So I've never been one to cook alot. It has just always been easier and faster to eat out. He has never seemed to mind. But I do try to make a good home cooked meal for him once in awhile. However all that's about to change and I'm scared to death. We are moving on April 1st to a house that's in a Lake community way out in the boonies. So, I will have to no choice other than to cook at home every day. At least during the week anyways. And like I said before, I don't cook that much. And the things I do make are easy dishes. I've always made Spaghetti because it's so easy and cheap. I've made Meat Loaf and Lasagna, Tacos and Burritos, etc. But now that I have totally changed the way I eat, I really need to expand my culinary skills. But where do I even start? I'm not even sure if I know how to make anything that isn't loaded with fat or way too many calories. I know that I need to stick to lean cuts of meat and try to grill it. But what can I make to go with the meats? Like I've never really made an actual "healthy" meal by myself and I'm terrorified! But I have the rest of this month to start getting together more healthy recipes. So if anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE feel free to comment and send them to me.  :)

Numb....

I have alot going on right now. Nothing's wrong with me and my hubby, we're great. But it involves certain people in our lives. And their causing some major stress on us. And do you know what happens when I get stressed? I EAT! And eat. And eat. I swore I would never do that again, (this time around).  But I know and admit that I have a pattern of doing it. I just can't screw up this time! I've been doing SO good lately. But the situation is just getting worse. And all I want to do is go crawl in my bed with a tub of Blue Bell Birthday Cake Ice Cream and watch movies all day. I guess I am "trying" to act like what's going on around me isn't really happening. But it is, and it's killing me inside. I can't really divuldge too many details because the people this involves could possibly read this. Just know that I need some serious motivation right now to get my head back on straight. I haven't went on any "binge" yet but I feel it coming. UGH. Why do I do this to myself and let what other people do bring me down.....

Does this make me look fat?

 I would NEVER ask this question. First of all, because I know the answer to the freaking question. Duh! And second, I will know that who ever I am asking would be lying to me if they said no. So this got me thinking. (Which can be slightly dangerous at times). But I was wondering if any of my overweight friends and family ever ask this question to other people. Almost all of them immediately said no! Well why is that? Because we know we're fat and don't need anyone pointing out that a certain outfit may make us look even worse. So what gets me is when all the skinny people ask this question, knowing damn well what the persons response is going to be. It's like they love to hear, No, you could never look fat, your SOOO skinny. UGH. I have a niece who has the body of a super model and she's tall too. And I swear everytime we would get ready to go somewhere she always asks me that. My reply is always, "Please don't worry about it honey, you'll be standing next to me".  She doesn't find my answer funny, but I do!

Anyways, this is just a pet peeve of mine and I had to "vent" a little. I overheard someone ask this earlier today who obviously knew she didn't look fat. Because if she really thought she looked fat, then why the heck was she half naked? HMMM....People.....?

I Love My Soda....

I was really busy this past weekend, but it was great! I had the usual dinner out with the hubby and was able to use my new IPhone app again to make a good meal decision. (LOL) Then on Saturday I spent the day with my sister and neice at the mall. We walked all day long! So much so, that when we finally got back to my house I could barely sit down because my legs hurt so bad. That tells me that I haven't been doing enough walking on a daily basis or else I wouldn't have been hurting like that. Shame on me! I think I've been so focused on doing other cardio type excersizes that I have neglected to simply do enough walking. So that's now on my daily "To Do" list. I want to try and get in at least 30 minutes to an hour of just walking in my daily routine. And also, something else I have been struggling with over the past week is drinking my water. For some reason I have craved Pop (Soda, Coke, whatever you want to call it) everyday! I am trying so hard not to give in to this but OMG I love my soda! I know how good water is for the body and I understand all that. But it's just so BLAH. Now I'm finding that getting through 8 or more glasses a day is like torture. When I first started making all these changes to my diet it was alot easier. I think because I was so excited and ready to make the needed changes. But now it seems to be getting harder and harder. I'm not buying soda's to keep in my home so that helps. But then whenever I'm out, their constantly on my mind. I would LOVE to just pull into a drive thru whenever I feel like it and grab one. But I know that once I tell myself "I'll do it just this once" then my old habits will right back. So everyone please pray for my strength!!!!! If I can get over my addiction to sodas then the rest will be so much easier....

IPhone Apps

So I found another amazing IPhone App that I'm in LOVE with. It's called IFitness. It's the best fitness app out there right now. It has over 230 different individual exercises to choose from. For each exercise you’ll see a picture, a description, and, for most, a video as well. You can even choose exercises based on muscle group. This app is great for everyone from the beginner who’s looking for an easy-to-follow workout, to the advanced body builder who wants a custom way to track progress. Isn't that awesome!

Weekend Temptation

I love the weekends but it's always the toughest time of the week for temptation. We usually go out on Friday and Saturday night for dinner and on Sunday we go out to lunch after church. When I'm at home, I'm in "my safe zone". Because I only keep foods in the house that follow along the guidelines of what I want to be eating. But then when you go out, you don't ever know what the nutritional value is of the meal you may be eating. I know alot of resturants offer lower calorie meals now and they even put the nutrional info right on the menu, but not everyone does it. Then I remembered reading a fellow bloggers page yesterday that said he was basically feeling the same way and wondering what the nutrional value was of something he wanted to eat. So he pulled out his IPhone and googled the information, and there it was! He's basically going thru the same things we all are with his journey and he's also trying to get his blog out there, so you should check it out. Here's his link in case you want to show him some love:

http://brendanlosesweight.blogspot.com/

So anyways, then I checked the Apps on my IPhone and I found a free app called "Restaurant Nutrition." It's got the nutritional info for over 115 restaurants and over 19,000 food items. It also helps you track your calories, carbs, protein, fat and more! It's perfect and just what I needed to help me make better choices when going out. So Thanks Brendan for giving me the idea! I was able to eat dinner out with my hubby tonight at Longhorn Steak House without stressing and knew exactly how many calories I was eating. And it was FANTASTIC!!!!!

Better A Busy Bee Than A Lazy Daisy

Sorry I haven't posted for the past couple of days. School has been out for the past week here and my sister needed a baby sitter for my 6 year old niece. So I volunteered to keep her. The first day she comes in with her little "Snack Bag" full of goodies for the week and as I'm putting them away I see the enemy. Girl Scout Samoa Cookies!!!! Their my absolute favorite. I mean I seriously look forward to seeing the Girl Scouts set up in front of Walmart every year so that I can get my stash of Somoa's. I put them away and told myself "their just cookies, you can do this". But I swear every day I have just tried to ignore the fact that they were even there. I mean I didn't even pull them out to give to her because I didn't even want to look at them. LOL. Then finally yesterday we went on a picnick to the park with a bunch of other kids so I threw them in the bag. Then once they had all finished eating I took them out and opened the box and just walked away from the table. I seriously didn't even want to look at them. That's how much I love those damn things. But other than that little dilema she has kept me very active this week so far! We went to the Aquatic center on Monday to swim, then we had 3 scavenger hunts and a water balloon fight on Tuesday and then the park visit on Wednesday. We played tennis and rode bikes for a couple of hours. So I've deffinately been able to get in some extra excersize. I guess it's better to be a busy bee then to be a lazy Daisy.

On another note, I weighed again yesterday and I GAINED a pound! I know it's only 1 little pound, but a pound is a pound to me! And I don't understand why. I mean I've been eating the same, drinking my water, and I have excersized more in the past 2 weeks than I ever have. A friend told me that it could be because I am putting on muscle now. But I thought that was just an old wives tale or something. I have been using weights alot though. I have 4 pound ankle weights for when I'm riding my bike, and then some 10 pound weights to use for working on my arms. Does anyone know if this is true or not? I really want to know if that could be why or not. I'm not gonna let this get me down though. I know I will keep losing as long as I just stay focused..... :)

Ahhh.... Carbs!

I am finding it really hard not to eat Carbs. Does anyone else have this problem? Why do they have to be so darn good? It's like all of my favorite foods are freakin Carbs. I love Pasta and Bread, and Cereal, and so on.....I've been trying to do the "low carb" thing on top of doing weight watchers. The Weight Watchers Point System is great and really easy to follow and stick to. But I thought if I tried to cut my Carbs too, then I would really lose some weight. But I think now I just need to focus on getting my points in correctly and not try so hard to be perfect. I guess I'm just worried because I feel like every meal I eat includes Carbs. And I know there has got to be some great meals that I would like that don't have to involve Pasta or Bread. But I am having trouble finding meals like this. Any suggestions? I need some serious help! I think I'm actually addicted to Carbs?!

Hiking is Fun

My husband told me Thursday night that his job is wanting to transfer him to another location. It would be a great promotion for him, going from an Assistant Manager, to being a Branch Service Manager. He would get a decent pay raise and receive quarterly bonuses. The only problem is that the new shop is over an hour away. Which in turn means, we have to move. UGH. We just moved into the house we're currently in back in October. But we knew this move was only temporary as we are living with our friends to help out. (Long story~ but my hubby's best friend was shot 7 times last year. 5 times in the head. So he was in the hospital for about 10 months then released in October. we moved in to help out with the kids, taking care of Zach, etc.) So we knew that this wouldn't be long term. But the plan was to stay here with them until August when their new handicap house should be finished by. I talked it over with our friend and she told us that she thought we should go for it. We had already made up our minds that this was something that we had to do. But we just wanted to make sure that they would be okay if we were'nt still living under the same roof. I mean even if we do move a little further away from them, it will still be within driving distance for me to come and help out. And I still want to help out. I have seen our friend suffer so much this past year. And I absolutely love seeing the little miracles we get to experience with him each day. So I plan to continue working with him several days a week. But for now, we've got to get in gear and find a new home. (Watch out Craig's List, here I come!) We don't have to rush too bad because my husband said he could do the hour plus drive for awhile. But I wanted to go check out the potential cities we might be moving to right away. So we headed out this morning into the North Georgia Mountains. It is breath takingly beautiful up there, I must admit. But the thought of moving out to the boondocks kind of scares me. But I think the change will be good. We've been through so much heartache since last year, so I think it's time for a change. We took a long drive through the mountains and stopped once for a quick hike. Which then turned into a long hike. I've never been one to volunteer to go hiking. UHH UHH Not me! That's too much damn excersize! LOL. But this time it was different. I wasn't panting so hard I thought I would faint. Or complaining so much that I had to worry that my husband might push me off a cliff to put me out of my misery. I actually ENJOYED it!!!! ALOT! And when I told my husband that I thought hiking was fun, he started laughing because he thought I was totally kidding. Then I said, "No, for real. I'm loving it". So then he asked me if I was feeling alright and felt my head! Silly man.... Hiking is fun! And great excersize! :)

Friend or Frenemie?

You know it's amazing to have a friend who really has your back in all you do in your life. Especially when your faced with challenges such as a family illness, financial problems, boyfriend or spouse issues, etc... And being able to have the support of friends and family when your trying to make real life changes, (Such as when your dieting) are really important. I have found that since I started this journey, I do have a few key support people. My awesome husband, my sisters, my niece and my friend Tanya. But there is this one person who has really just shocked the crap out of me. I figured she would have my back too, but I think I was mistaken. She's made a few little smart alec comments that just left me speechless. Like for example, I used to be a huge Soda drinker. And I have dropped them like cold Turkey. I haven't had one in over a month now! I am drinking only water now and the occasional Sweet Tea on "Cheat Days". Well this one day a family friend asked me how I was doing on my diet. And I told her about how I had quit drinking all the Soda and have totally changed the way I eat. I guess I was sorta bragging because I am really proud of myself ya know? And then my "so called friend" says, "Yeah, we'll see how long this lasts". ??? And then another time someone commented on how great my skin is looking these days and said it's probably because of all the water I'm drinking. Then my "friend" once again said something smart about how it's just a ton of makeup.??? I know that I tend to take things the wrong way sometimes. But who doesn't? And I think that alot of it comes from being heavy all my life. I guess maybe I just always "assume" that people are talking about me because I'm a fattie. When they very well may not be talking about me at all. But I've got to be honest here, she is killing me with the negativity! I mean at least once a week or more, someone is complimenting me on how great I'm doing, or telling me to keep up the great work. And whenever she is in my presence, she always finds something negative to say. And I'm also wondering if it is because she is a big girl too. And maybe she's worried that I might actually do it this time. I've asked her to do this with me. I mean I would LOVE to have someone to excersize with or just to go out to lunch with someone else who is watching what their eating. But she just acts like this is just a temporary phase that I'm going to grow out of. And I'm not. Like I've said before, I'm not even really looking at this as a diet, but as a "Life Style Change". And I'm changing for good this time. No going back to my Chubee Chick ways. Am I wrong to feel a little hurt by the negativitiy? Or am I just being too darn sensitive? Because I'm really feeling like she's turning into a frenemie instead of being my friend. :(

Thunder Thighs

I've been trying several different types of excersize to see what works best for me. So far, I am totally into the bike riding. I love how free I feel when I'm out on my bike, wind blowing thru my hair, and no thoughts running thru my brain other than hoping I don't crash into a tree. (My bike has no brakes....)

But I have decided this week to try and focus on excersizes that will "target" my Thunder Thighs. That's one of the parts I hate the most on my body. I'm guessing that the bike riding will be good for my thighs too. But I've been working them so hard over the past few days that that now I feel like I rode a Donkey across the Dessert. So I think I'm gonna take the night off tonight and let them "heal" for a minute. But I PROMISE I will get right back at it tomorrow!    :)


P.S.~ This is my Dream bike that I'm saving for. I love Hello Kitty so it's PERRRFECT! But quite pricey too....

                                                           

Stop and smell the Roses

The hubby and I had a really great talk last night. Mostly about things that we're working on changing in our lives and about how we are really working on just being the best people we can be. We try to volunteer as much as possible and always lend a helping hand to those in need. We try to live and be as selfless as possible. Doing as much for others as possible and always putting others before ourselves. But anyways, it was just one of those moments in life that I realized how lucky I am. And how grateful I should always be.

Sometimes I tend to lose sight though. I turn into the person who wants it all and wants it all right now (whatever 'it all' even is)! I forget to "Stop and smell the Roses". And while I am busy planning our next step, I miss what is happening right here and now. I forget to slow down and appreciate all of the wonderful blessings I have at this very moment.
But life sat me down last night and reminded me of my blessings. I am married to the most amazing man! I'm not just saying that. He really is the greatest thing since sliced bread. LOL. And I truly believe that we are Soulmates. I will not sit here and tell you that I don't deserve him, I do. I have gone through enough to know that he is exactly what I never knew I always needed. But there are days I need to be reminded of that. And tell him, so I did. And then he reminded me that God knew what he was doing when he brought us together, into each others lives for a reason.

I am also surrounded by some truly great friends, and I have 3 wonderful sisters who I adore, and a neice who is one of my closest confidants. I no longer have my Mother or Father (RIP Mom and Dad) But I still have lots of other people in my life who I love and who love me. And that's a blessing in itself! Some people have no family or friends. I can't even imagine what my life would be like without any of them.

So basically we've decided that we need to slow down a bit. And remember to take time to notice the little things and enjoy what each day of life brings us. After all, life is a marathon, but not a race.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day Blogger Friends!!!!!
The hubby bought me the New 32 Gig IPhone! I've never had one before and I absolutely LOVE it! I hope you all have a wonderful day full of Love and Happiness!
                                                            

Big Girl Clothes

I went shopping today to try and get some new things for Spring. It's been pretty warm here the past few days. And all I really have is sweaters and then my old work blouses. I used to work in a Healthcare office and we wore business casual clothing. But now I have the luxury of working from home. So now I'm usually in Old Navy Pajama Pants and a T Shirt all day. We moved from Florida back to Georgia this past June and when we moved I threw out a ton of clothes. Now of course I'm regreting throwing away so much. But I needed to update my wardrobe anyways. So I went to a few of my favorite stores this afternoon (Ross, TJ Max, Marshalls, and Target) but I didn't find a thing! All I wanted to get was a few key pieces that I could mix and match. Just simple tees that I could layer and maybe throw on a light weight scarf with. Or some thin Spring Sweaters and maybe a little jacket. But what I found was that everything either seems to look too "young" for me, or like something my grandmother would wear! And the shirts are made way too long for my 5 foot 3 inch self. So then they look like dresses on me instead of shirts. And I already have a hard time finding short enough jeans for me so that they don't drag the ground. I know that Lane Bryant would have some awesome stuff but their so pricey! And I don't really have a LB Budget right this moment. I'm sooo depressed now. I really wanted a few new things to wear to help me feel better about myself. But so much for that. In a way though I'm glad that I'm feeling this way because it's made me determined as hell to stick to my goals. And eventually I won't have to be shopping for big girl clothes anymore and it will be so much easier to find things. But for now, does anyone have any other ideas where I could find some cute & fashionable Spring Stuff in Plus size? (That won't break the bank). Thanks for any ideas....

Movie Theater Popcorn

I'm going to the movies tonight with some friends and I am debating on whether or not I should get Popcorn. I absolutely LOVE movie theater Popcorn. But I also like it totally smothered in butter. Which of course I know is horrible for me. But I don't know how bad just the plain Popcorn is by itself with no butter? Does anyone have any ideas about how much fat/calories is in it? Because I would rather have some plain then none at all. Anyways I don't even know why I'm obsessng about it. I guess I'm just trying to justify eating some. LOL!!!!

10 Health Benefits Of Cinnamon

I found this article on http://www.healthdiaries.com/ and thought it was really interesting, so of course I had to share. After reading it I think I need to add a little Cinnamon to my own diet.....


Studies have shown that just 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon per day can lower LDL cholesterol.
Several studies suggest that cinnamon may have a regulatory effect on blood sugar, making it especially beneficial for people with Type 2 diabetes.
In some studies, cinnamon has shown an amazing ability to stop medication-resistant yeast infections.
In a study published by researchers at the U.S. Department of Agriculture in Maryland, cinnamon reduced the proliferation of leukemia and lymphoma cancer cells.
It has an anti-clotting effect on the blood.
In a study at Copenhagen University, patients given half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder combined with one tablespoon of honey every morning before breakfast had significant relief in arthritis pain after one week and could walk without pain within one month.
When added to food, it inhibits bacterial growth and food spoilage, making it a natural food preservative.
One study found that smelling cinnamon boosts cognitive function and memory.
Researchers at Kansas State University found that cinnamon fights the E. coli bacteria in unpasteurized juices.
It is a great source of manganese, fiber, iron, and calcium

Setting up for Success

I am trying to take this whole weightloss journey in baby steps. I'm scared if I rush into it head first like all the other times I have tried that I will fail like before. So I am trying to set myself up for success by planning all my meals ahead of time and by making sure that I have all the neccessary foods and tools at home. This way I can't use the excuse that I didn't have any healthy snacks so I "had" to have that bag of chips or that handful of cookies. I figure that taking
small, manageable steps rather than one big drastic change should work for me. Because before I would just jump right in and say I'm never eating this again or I'm never gonna do that again. But I always end up going back to my old ways. And I don't want to do that this time. That's why I'm so "leery" of saying that I'm on a diet. Because this is way more than just a diet. This is a total lifestyle change for me. If I approach the changes gradually and with commitment, I think I will be able to grow into these changes and eating healthier will eventually come more naturally. I went out yesterday and bought some arm and ankle weights. I'm going to use them when I go walking or bike riding. I bought a Brita Water Pitcher that Filters tap water, that way I can't "run out of water" and grab a can of soda. And I also got a Pedometer and a Diet Journal. I hope that by journaling all my daily meals and snacks I will be able to look at what I have eaten that day and decide where, if any, I am making mistakes. And then learn from those mistakes. I'm a long way from where I want to be yet. But 10 pounds is a good start and I'm excited to go back in a year from now and reflect on what I have accomplished. So hopefully my little plan for success will work for me. :)

Walk Away

For the past week the hubby and I have been trying to figure out what to do for Superbowl Sunday. We had been invited to a couple of parties, but ultimately we decided to just stay home and have our own small get together. I enjoy  going to games alot but as far as watching a game on t.v., I just CANNOT get into it. And I have really, really tried. I want to be the cool chick that knows all the players names and understands all the plays. But for the life of me I just can't!!!! I was more excited today at the thought of having my "cheat day" and about all the good food we were having. I know, how pathetic.
We had buffalo wings in Medium and Lemon Pepper. (Which is My FAVE)  several types of dips and chips, Coctail weenies and the other usual stuff. I know I have earned this cheat day so I shouldn't feel quilty about it. But I do.
And all I had was 5 wings and some celery. And I tried to eat alot of celery to try and fill up on it. But then I moved on to the desserts. BAHAHAHA. We had made those Peanut Butter filled Ritz crackers that you dip in milk chocolate. YUMMM! So, I had one. But just one! It was like heaven in my mouth for real. But I knew it was time to just walk away from the food or else I was probably going to eat too much. So I walked away like I was being told to.......
Imagine this, a policeman saying: "Big girl, walk away from the food table".
"Drop your fork and give it up". (hee hee). AHHH me and my crazy imagination. But I must say that overall I am pretty proud of myself. I didn't overeat and I ate just enough to fill me up while I watched everyone else pig out like it was their jobs. Gotta Love Superbowl Sundays...... :P

Interesting....

A new display is currently at the Library of Congress in Washington D.C. It looks at diet fads and books through the decades. Click to read more about it here.... http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/food/diet-nutrition/2011-01-19-dietposters19_ST_N.htm

Thought this was cute, Had to share.....

Changing Me

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” -- Helen Keller
I just love this quote..... Isn't it funny that we have to hit rock bottom before we wake up and realize that we even have a problem. I have tried so many "diets" before that I've lost count. And I have never really reached any type of real goal with any of them. So now I am just focusing on changing my daily habits rather than "dieting" alone. I drink water instead of Soda and Tea. I snack on Fruits and veggies rather than chips or candy. I eat my meat grilled instead of fried. It seems simple enough but it's harder said than done.  I love a good greasy Cheeseburger with Fries. And it's hard to make myself "want" a Turkey Sandwich on Whole Grain bread instead of that burger. But I am doing it. With each day that passes now I realize that I am getting stronger and stronger. And I even feel healthier already. I take several vitamins in the morning and I'm drinking water religously. So I have so much more energy to get through my day. And I love that my previous haters are now my best motivators. They give me more strength and ambition than I have ever had before in my life. I guess I just had to hit rock bottom to see that I needed to change. While the changes I have made and are still making aren't easy, they are worth it. Because I see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I know that with fierce dedication I CAN do this. I WILL do this. I MUST do this. For me.

Skinny Girl Stores

I went to the mall today with some friends after church. Everyone except me wanted to eat lunch there. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find anything even remotely healthy to eat. And I really didn't want to go into a big explanation about my new eating habits and about how I am trying to totally avoid fast food of any type. But I really lucked up and found this new little place that sells all types of delicious healthy foods. They make fresh wraps with meat, veggies and sprouts, all types of soups and salads, and had a wonderful assortment of fresh fruit. So I decided on a Turkey wrap with a mixed fruit cup on the side and a bottle of water. I will admit though, that my friends Huge Calzone with Marinara on the side was calling out to me. I could have seriously tore that thing up! LOL. But my lunch did it's job. I only ate about half the wrap and fruit and was full. So I actually threw some of it away. I'm usually a "Clean My Plate" kind of girl. But I was happy, full and felt satisfied so I was able to stop eating when I should have.  After lunch we all strolled the mall and went in and out of various stores. I walked into a "Skinny Girl Store" with my friend that sells womens clothing up to a size 12. And as soon as I was passed the door way a sales clerk came up and asked me if she could help me with anything. I told her "No thank You, I'm only looking". The usual standard reply. And she said "Oh... Okay" and kind of smirked and laughed a bit as he walked away. I felt like she wanted to tell me that I was in the wrong store. Thank God she didn't though or I might have snapped. And I could have seriously broken her tiny little size zero body in half over my knee. I pictured Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she was in that expensive boutique and the sales clerk just assumed she couldn't afford anything. Then she got some money from Richard Gere she went back to rub it in her face. Well if I ever do get down to a size 12 or less, I WILL go back.....But I won't buy a thing from that silly skinny girl. :()

Wonderfully Made....

I was reading earlier today and came across this scripture. It has really stuck  with me so I thought I'd share....

I (Will) praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~PSALM 139.14

I was just thinking about how everyone is different and how God made each of us different for a reason. So even though I am a "Chubee Chick" and not happy with my body at the moment, I am just going to embrace who I am. This doesn't mean that I'm going to quit all my new healthy habits or give up on the changes that I'm still in the process of making. It just means that I am going to quit being so hard on myself each and every day. Life is a gift whether your big or small, short or tall, Rich or poor. So I am going to focus on making each day count. And quit trying to think of how great my life will be once I lose the weight. I am wonderfully made right now as I am..... :)

Each Day Is A Struggle...

I've really been struggling over the past few days. I keep having these  headaches on and off again and I haven't been sleeping that much. So with the lack of sleep it's been really hard to focus during the day and muster up the energy to excersize. I have still been eating right and watching my calories and carbs. But excersize has totally taken a backseat lately. And the funny thing is that when I do get in my excersize I always feel great afterwards. But while I'm doing it, all I think about the whole time is how much I hate it!!! So what's my problem? I know that the pain I'm in while doing it will pass and then afterwards I will have that "boost" of adrenaline that makes me feel awesome. So then why do I struggle and still not want to do it everyday??? Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like I need a swift kick in my butt everyday to get me started. I set an alarm on my Blackberry today and when it goes off it's time to excersize. No excuses. I think I'm going to have to "schedule" a half hour each morning and set my reminder alarm and then a half hour at night too. Then I can't lie to myself and say I forgot or I didn't have time. The plain ugly truth is that every day is a struggle. I don't really think it's going to neccessarily get any easier. But I do hope that with time and more weight loss that I won't dread it so darn much!!!!

P.S. ~I lost a few more pounds so I am up to a total of 10 pounds lost!
Yay me! (Now I only need to loose like a hundred more and I'll be great! LOL)
:)

Subway Rules!!!!

Sorry I haven't updated much in the past few days but my friend Zach got put back in the hospital. He was running a high fever and coughing alot so we had him brought in because of all his other health conditions. They are going to keep him another day or so then he should get to go back home as long as he doesn't run any more fevers. (He's the one who was shot last year). But anyways....
I had Subway for lunch today and it was delicious!!! EAT FRESH! I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything when I eat at Subway. What I mean is that their lower calorie sandwiches are just as good as the others. Thanks goodness I love all the veggies on mine which really makes it filling. I think that's going to be my new spot. I must admit though, I did get a cookie! But I wanted to somewhat "reward" myself for all the hard work I have done over the past few weeks. I'm holding steady at a loss of just 8 pounds. But I haven't weighed myself in over a week either. So hopefully I have lost a few more pounds and not gained any. When I went to visit my friend at the hospital earlier I went on a walk around the hospital just to get some walking in today. Then I think tonight I'm going to go on a bike ride if it's not too cold. That's my new favorite excersize! I had not been on a bike in over 15 years and then about a week or so ago I just got this urge to try it out. So I borrowed my friends bike and took off. There is a church across the street from where I live so I decided to try it out there in the parking lot first. I rode slowly for awhile as I learned to ride again and then decided to pick up my pace a little, so I got brave and went out on the street. This was about 9:00 at night so there were'nt many cars out or anything. But I got up to a pretty fast speed and then realized as I was  going down a hill that this bike didn't have brakes! OMG I just knew I was going to crash. I was praying outloud, "Oh please God No, Oh please God No".  I made it down the hill safely and up the next so that my speed tapered off and I was able to stop with my feet. WHEW that was close. At least my fatness would have cushioned my fall if I had fell. LOL. But after I stopped that night I decied to walk the bike back to my house. I have since found a route that is completely flat so I should be okay. And that's where I'm planning on ridng tonight. Wish me luck! )

I'm gonna find a way to sneak a Cookie

I have to admit that I am absolutely addicted to that new MTV show called "I used to be fat". It's about a bunch of different kids who want to drop their weight and get healthy before they start college. They are each given a personal trainer who totally kicks their butts and they must adhere to a strict diet under their supervision. I know getting yelled at and bossed around by some perfectly fit ex-marine cannot be fun. But I honestly think that having a person to constantly push you to your limits gives you a huge advantage over trying to do it by yourself. The only people I have rooting for me is my sister Christie who is also trying to get healthy, my hubby and my friend Tanya. Not that their not wonderful but their not with me every minute of every day. And let me tell you, I'm like a 2 year old that needs constant supervision. Because if I want to sneak a cookie, I'm going to find a way to do it without anyone noticing me. So there are alot of obstacles in my path each and everyday. But I am gonna keep on trying and never give up. :)

BIG GIRL POWER!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Chubby Wubby

I'm still a little "under the weather" today. Now with the classic stuffy nose and sore throat. So I decided rather than watching more movies on Lifetime about steamy affairs and love triangles to concentrate on some good old fashioned reading. I have several new books in line to be read but I decided to pick up an old fave from a few years ago and re-read it. It's called "Good In Bed" by Jennifer Weiner. If you have read it then you probably know why I love it. If you haven't then you have got to read it! It's about a chubby girl who's ex gets a great job at a magazine and decides to write an article about his relationship with her. He wrote that "Loving a larger Woman takes an act of courage in today's world". Then he goes on to say that he "Would never forget the day he found out that his girlfriend weighed more than him". Poor chubby girl. As if it isn't hard enough being a "Big Girl" in today's skinny world, she had to have it shoved in her face in a major published magazine story. I know this is just a fiction character in a fiction novel. But I could really relate to this story and the overwhelming feeling of embarassment and self hate she felt. Being the fattie living with all the skinnies. Anyways it's a really good story with alot of heartfelt emotion and struggles. You should check it out....
On the plus side of being sick, you don't feel like eating. LOL. So I haven't blown my diet yet (Sorry to inform you haters). But I also know that not eating at all is not a good thing in itself. I did manage to eat a little soup earlier but my throat feels like it's lined with Razor Blades. So I felt like that was better than nothing. I am going to try to make myself get up later and do a little cardio. I'm hoping that it might actually make me feel better. But No worries today of me cheating and grabbing any french fries. They would probably taste like cardboard anyway.... :)

2011 Prayer

Dear God:

For 2011, all I ask for is a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please do not mix up the two like you did last year.

Amen

BLAH....

Today I've had the worst Sinus headache ever. All I have done is lay around and watch movies all day. I'm currently watching Titanic. Which I have probably seen at least a half dozen times. But it's one of those movies that whenever it's on I can't seem to switch the channel. I did venture out of the house earlier though on a quick run to CVS in search of something to make this headache go away. I bought some Sudafed Sinus headache and thought that would work but it's not helping at all. :( And since I have been in this state of total couch vegetation today, all I have wanted to do is eat. (Suprise, Suprise). I've been good though, suprisingly. I even passed up a whole buggy full of Christmas candy earlier at Cvs that was like 90% off. I had my normal Oatmeal for breakfast, no mid morning snack because I didn't feel like getting up to get one. Then I had some Healthy Request Tomatoe and Rice soup for lunch. I really, really wanted to make a grilled cheese to go with it. But I didn't. I probably would have if I was feeling better. But at least I fought off the urge. I'm feeling super guilty about not doing any excersize today. But I just can't handle it today. I feel like my head is being squezzed by some giant vice grips and it's about to explode any minute. But hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better and can just double up on my excersizes. Sorry to be so BLAH today but that's how I'm feeling. Til tomorrow folks.....

I even eat when I Sleep!

I dreamt of McDonalds French Fries and Coca Cola last night. Two of my favorite things. How sad is that.... But once I woke up and realized I was dreaming about my obsession with food, it just gave me that much more determination! So I started my day off with a bowl of oatmeal and a big glass of water. I'd rather be eating a bagel overflowing with cream cheese but I know that's not a wise choice for me. That's how I got here in the first place right? After breakfast I did a mini workout consisting of 10 crunches, 40 leg lifts, and and 20 squats. Now I realize this is nothing to someone who excersizes regularly. But for me, this is huge! Instead of feeling worn out and grumpy like I figured I would, I felt great! I felt really "awake" and alive and I was so proud of myself. I even called my hubby at work to tell him about it.
I worked from home for a few hours then I had to get ready for an appointment with a friend. She is getting married next year and I'm going to be one of her bridesmaids. Her color choice for the bridesmaids dresses is a Candy Apple Red. I hate red on me but hey, it's her wedding so I just have to deal with it. But I fear that if I don't loose enough weight by the wedding that when I go to walk down the eisle, someone is gonna yell "KOOLAID".... Remember the old kool aid commercial where the huge Red Kool Aid Man comes busting thru a wall? Well that's gonna be me if I don't get in gear. I watched all these beautiful girls trying on their size 6 or 8 dresses in awe. I want to be like that. There was one girl in particular that had me mesmerized. She walked in wearing black yoga pants with knee high UGG boots and an oversized black sweater on. She was tall, blond with carmel highlights and had an amazing figure. She took off her sweater and handed it to her Mother so she could go start trying on dresses and I almost fell off my chair. She had on grey T shirt that exposed her midriff. Her stomach was flat as a pan cake! WOW! She was absolutely stunning. And then when she came out in her first gown I got all teary eyed. Not because she was going to be such a beautiful bride or because her dress was so pretty, but because I realized that if I want it bad enough and work my butt of to do it, that I COULD be like her. But it's gonna be hell on earth getting there. I know what I have to do and what I need to do. But for now I just need to stay focused and stop dreaming about French Fries......

A Totally Cute Freebie From Lean Cuisine!

Lean Cuisine is offering these incredibly cute lunch bags by mail! Just enter 20 entrée codes into their website (LeanCuisine.com) by 3/31/2011 and you can choose one of four styles. I think I may go with "The Jessica". But their all really cute...

The "F" Word

I've finally had enough. Enough of being fat. Yes, I said it. The dreaded "F" word. I would rather refer to myself as "Chubee" or "Thick", but in all reality it isn't true. I'm a total fat ass and I know it. I also know what I need to do in order to change my current state of fatness. But saying it and doing it are two totally different things. The last year of my life was the worst year I have ever had. I'm not going to tell you my life story because then this little blog would turn into a novel. But let me just say that I haven't always had the best luck in the world. I lost my Dad a few years ago to Cancer, then my grandpa to a Brain Aneurysm, then last year my Mother got sick and succombed to a rare disease that seem to hit her out of nowhere. I had just moved out of state to Florida with my husband when Mom got ill. It had always been our dream to live near the ocean and finally a wonderful opportunity with his job allowed us to relocate. We were living out our dream and having the time of our lives. Then she became really ill, really fast. And we lost her just a few days after her diagnosis. Then just when things seemed to be getting a little back to normal, our best friend was shot in a horrible accident that nearly killed him. He and his wife are our Best Friends and we knew that we had to do whatever we could to help them. So we came back to Georgia so that we could stay with her kids while she remained at the hospital at his bedside, He was in the hospital for 10 months. But now he is finally back home with us. During those months and months of roller coaster up and downs with his condition, we all ate. And Ate, And Ate. It seems like everyone was always bringing over something good to eat. Don't get me wrong though, I was overweight way before all of this happened. I just think it pushed me to the point of WAY out of control. I love to eat. And I love to eat bad food. I could probably live off french fries and pizza. No actually, I know I could. And it doesn't help matters when your husband is fit and not overweight at all. (Not to mention tall and handsome.) So he can eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants and hardly gains a pound! UGH that makes me so mad. Damn Men and their awesome metabolisms! He is a total sweetheart though and has never once even told me I needed to lose some weight. Or that I could "stand to lose a few pounds" as some of my friends husbands tell them. He always tells me that I am beautiful just the way I am. AWWW. Not AWWW! I appreciate the fact that he is so sweet and kind. But once, just once, I wish he would call me fat ass. I think that if I ever heard those words come out of his mouth to me, it would totally crush me. But in a good way. A motivating way. Because I value his opinion more than anyone elses. But he won't ever say it. And I know he won't. But I need to lose weight for ME. So that I can feel alive and beautiful and confident for once in my life. I've always been the "funny fat girl" who hides behind the jokes and pranks. The girl who doesn't mind being a wallflower at parties because I am always too worried about how fat I might look in pictures that will probably end up on Facebook. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GIRL ANYMORE!!!! I want to be in pics on Facebook. I want to dance at parties and when we go out without being totally self concious. And dammit, I'm going to do it. I'm going to start blogging here everyday in my "Chubee Chick Diary" so that hopefully it can bring me some much needed inspiration. Please pray for my strength and share your own stories with me. Feel free to comment or email me anything. For now I am done. Ready to go eat...... JK! :)