Saturday, February 19, 2011

Friend or Frenemie?

You know it's amazing to have a friend who really has your back in all you do in your life. Especially when your faced with challenges such as a family illness, financial problems, boyfriend or spouse issues, etc... And being able to have the support of friends and family when your trying to make real life changes, (Such as when your dieting) are really important. I have found that since I started this journey, I do have a few key support people. My awesome husband, my sisters, my niece and my friend Tanya. But there is this one person who has really just shocked the crap out of me. I figured she would have my back too, but I think I was mistaken. She's made a few little smart alec comments that just left me speechless. Like for example, I used to be a huge Soda drinker. And I have dropped them like cold Turkey. I haven't had one in over a month now! I am drinking only water now and the occasional Sweet Tea on "Cheat Days". Well this one day a family friend asked me how I was doing on my diet. And I told her about how I had quit drinking all the Soda and have totally changed the way I eat. I guess I was sorta bragging because I am really proud of myself ya know? And then my "so called friend" says, "Yeah, we'll see how long this lasts". ??? And then another time someone commented on how great my skin is looking these days and said it's probably because of all the water I'm drinking. Then my "friend" once again said something smart about how it's just a ton of makeup.??? I know that I tend to take things the wrong way sometimes. But who doesn't? And I think that alot of it comes from being heavy all my life. I guess maybe I just always "assume" that people are talking about me because I'm a fattie. When they very well may not be talking about me at all. But I've got to be honest here, she is killing me with the negativity! I mean at least once a week or more, someone is complimenting me on how great I'm doing, or telling me to keep up the great work. And whenever she is in my presence, she always finds something negative to say. And I'm also wondering if it is because she is a big girl too. And maybe she's worried that I might actually do it this time. I've asked her to do this with me. I mean I would LOVE to have someone to excersize with or just to go out to lunch with someone else who is watching what their eating. But she just acts like this is just a temporary phase that I'm going to grow out of. And I'm not. Like I've said before, I'm not even really looking at this as a diet, but as a "Life Style Change". And I'm changing for good this time. No going back to my Chubee Chick ways. Am I wrong to feel a little hurt by the negativitiy? Or am I just being too darn sensitive? Because I'm really feeling like she's turning into a frenemie instead of being my friend. :(

4 comments:

  1. Well Ive just started my weight loss journey a few days ago and my mom and aunt have already placed bets on how long I'll keep this up so in a way I know how u feel. But Im trying to look at it in a positive way. All of their negativity just makes me want to work harder and prove them wrong!Feel free to follow my blog.Could always use some POSITIVE encouragement :) www.rsmith985.blogspot.com
    I'm following urs and cheerin for ya! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I honestly think that she is jealous. You are losing weight and maybe she isn't. Maybe if you counteract her negative comments by giving her a positive compliment she might be more positive.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Honestly talk to her about it...It is not wrong to feel anyway that you are feeling about it..but if she is a friend, talk to her about being surprised by her reaction...it might just open it up for some honest dialogue.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think she is afraid of loosing her fellow fat friend. Right now the two of you have that in common, right? I'm sure its jelousy based. But Jules is right... if its a frienship worth saving, you should talk to her about it! Good luck!! <3

    ReplyDelete